Many of us have heard and are aware of the ego. We work on being kind to others, having more compassion and less judgement, letting go of always winning or obsessing over numbers and results while comparing ourselves to others ( to a point where it affects our health and even causes anxiety and depression).
These are all very important and take ongoing awareness and self-discipline. Judgement, jealousy, envy, superiority, anger, resentment, are all of fear. Fear can also trigger the other hidden face of the ego many of us do not see, acknowledge or recognize; THE VICTIM.
The victim is fed by shame, guilt, comparison and wants you to suffer.
It likes to make you feel bad, guilty, regret, remorse, weak, helpless, resentment, hate, shame over mistakes or circumstances of the past or current and repeat them over and over again so vividly in your mind that you carry it into your present and make it your reality.
It is that part of you that when things do not go your way, says " this shouldn't be happening to me, poor me, why is this happening to me ( again), I suck, I signed up for this, I am a failure, why can't I do anything right, I always screw up, woe is me (... I always think of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh ). I am not enough.
It wants you to feel despair, it wants you to carry old baggage, make excuses and suffer.
Society accepts, feeds and fuels this face of the ego- the victim that is. "Oh you poor thing, "You should feel bad", "Shame on You", "stay comfortable", " Why bother" you just need to rest and not push yourself - with pity. Many will support us in the excuses ( we've made up for ourselves) as to why things are the way they are, why things are happening to us ( rather then for us :), why we can't reach a goal, why we can't chase our dreams and solidify the reasons we are telling ourselves - the excuses that become our reality.
The victim likes to keep us small ( ummmmmm... that is why it is here!). We must become aware of the victim and recognize it if we want to grow into the person we are meant to be.
Pay attention-
Where in your life do you play small or make yourself small almost not to be seen or because you are afraid to fail?
What stories are you telling yourself about things you aren't good at or that you cannot do?
What do you tell yourself when you are around someone that is "more successful", "more beautiful", "wealthier"( these are all judgements btw) then you? On social media? What is your self talk when you are in these situations?
Where in your life do you feel sorry for yourself ?
This takes bravery because it is not comfortable to look inside, especially in the beginning. Practice being with the discomfort.
Free write your answers to all of these questions today. Do not judge yourself or go back to erase anything. Just be you.
Journaling is such a beautiful tool that I use to become aware, unpack and dig deep into what I am growing through.
It becomes easier to recognize in your life and is not quite as sticky when you are in it. Take the time to claim it, make time in your day to journal and get ready for a ride!
xo
We are sooooo in this together, share this with a friend and help us #growtogether