It's ok to be frustrated.
Your life has been turned upside down for the past 8 weeks and I am here to remind you that you are human.
Give yourself some grace.
You've never done this before BUT you have gone through some tough times in your life. Look back at your life and realize that you have been through some tough shit, some big challenges and some rough, bumpy roads- that's what got you here. Give yourself some credit, you are so much stronger than you think!
Holding onto how things were, resisting our circumstance and refusing to accept what is right now is not only the biggest drain of your energy, it will rob you from happiness and lead to more suffering.
Adaptability is my North Star right now. It reminds me to be flexible. With all of the curve balls and "all of things" right now, I am continually reminding myself the importance of staying open and willing so I can adapt to my situation with creativity and resourcefulness. It sounds easy but when you are pissed off and frustrated because you are not finding time for your projects or that you are always being distracted by something or someone- catch yourself instead of going deeper into your rabbit hole. Annoyance, frustration, judgement and comparison are all red flags of resistance so, pay attention.
You cannot resist and adapt fully and openly at the same time.
When we take on a teachable spirit, we quickly realize that there are lessons and opportunities for us to grow, everywhere. Ummmm... and relationships are going to be your primary area of opportunities and probably your biggest triggers right now. Lean in and be brave. There is such a huge opportunity for growth and learning in your every day life.
Below are 5 areas that I've been focusing on daily to ensure I continue to adapt.
1. Become an observer. Practice being present. Be alert and attentive wherever you are, whatever you are doing and with whoever you are with. See things at face value. Pay attention to your thoughts and if you wander off, gently bring yourself back and remind yourself that this is a practice, you will get better with time. Stick to the facts of the situation. Listen. Stay factual and keep your emotions separate. Listen some more. Just be where your feet are and look for blessings in the moment you are in. You will notice that you are more creative and resourceful finding solutions to your problems from this place, no matter what challenge life throws your way.
2. If you are frustrated, annoyed, pissed off, anxious, jealous, sit with it. It's ok to be feeling what you are feeling. Try not to judge it or resist it.. it just is. The less you label things as good or bad, the less polarity you have toward your circumstances, the easier it will be for you to adapt and grow. Worry, anxiety and hate will rob you from all happiness in your life.
Feel what you need to feel but don't live there. Give yourself a timeline; freak out, cry, have a melt down or a pity party- do what you need to do in order for you to go on with your day without carrying it around like a piece of heavy luggage... and one of the wheels doesn't roll.. and the handle is broken.. you get the point. Haha
3. Focus on intention rather than expectations. What is your intention for your day? What are you looking to get out of the circumstance, interaction or situation? This often requires shifting from wanting to be right to looking at "what will be best for the whole". Think longterm and continue to take action toward your goals rather than being shortsighted and react out of fear. Life is happening for you, what are you being called to learn and how must you grow? Set an intention of how you want to show up for the people around you- playful, patient, enthusiastic, compassionate, confident, calm, courageous.
4. Have a clear vision and see yourself strong. Have a clear vision of where you are going and where you see yourself after this passes. I first heard this from Amy Porterfield and loved it so much I started that very day. How do you see yourself coming out of this? Are you strong or are you weak? What do you look like? What does it feel like inside? Are you happy and grateful? Are you exhausted and deflated? How do you see yourself coming out of this? Take this seriously as your thoughts are very powerful in dictating your future and creating your reality.
"The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts."
5. Do your best... and continue to do your best. YES, THIS WILL LOOK DIFFERENT EVERY DAY ( just a friendly reminder if you find yourself judging yourself for not doing enough, being enough or for having made a mistake) but commit to doing your best at being your best. Sometimes doing your best will be taking the day to recharge and nurture yourself so that you can fill your well and actually have something to give from. You cannot give from an empty well. As women right now we are being called to be and do many roles. Make sure you have a daily self-care and rest routine and stick to it.
Knowing you did your best will help you sleep at night and look back at all of this and be proud of who you became and how you grew through the challenges. You don't have to be perfect or have it all figured out, just get clear on your next move. Staying rested is directly correlated to being your best and will allow you to get clarity even when the stress is high.
Complacency is the enemy of growth. It's never too late to choose and start again.
Our circumstances have changed and we are all being faced with a multitude of challenges and hardships. This is a perfect space for looking inward, exploring who you are, what triggers you and grow.
Trust that all of the discomfort is a sign that you are growing and look your fears in the eyes. You are so much bigger than this. Be brave and have the courage to become your best self.
Adapt.
You got this.
xo